CLAIRE: Do you know how wrong it is to have a daughter,
and simply choose not to speak to her for eight years?
You think I wanted any of this to happen?
Grow some balls, go down there, and see your little girl.
Hey.
I'm your father.
It doesn't change the fact
you walked out on your nine kids.
You had nine kids?
Seven. The twins weren't born yet.
What's eating at you?
I wouldn't tell you.Oh, okay.
Go throw with the guy.
What? Why?
SAM: Come on, you'll get along great together.
Feels to me like you've lost somebody.
Somebody you had feelings for.
You're good at what you do, Loudermilk.
Mm.
Think she bought it?
Meatballs are ready.
You paid this little asshole to talk to me.
No.You tricked me again.
If it ain't broke...
[♪♪♪]
WOMAN: I love that one too.
It's called Oil and Water.
Oh, 'cause that's a bag of oil,
and that's a bag of water.
Neat.
There's an ironic sense of whimsy
in all of Shoreline's work.
This one explores the duality of conflict
that resides within the human psyche.
Don't you love when art does that?
Mm.
Unfortunately, this piece has been purchased.
Mm, that is unfortunate.
For whoever bought it.
Honestly, I'd rather have shit and piss on the wall.
[SCOFFS]
Come on, man, enough with the snark.
You're ruining it for everyone.
No, I mean, right over there,
Shit and Piss.
For the dining room, no?
Honey, let's get the fuck out of here.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Oh, the North Sea Sings... ♪
All right, so I told you guys about my old band, right?
SAM: No.
You managed a band?
No, I was in a band. Yeah, back in the '90s.
MAN: What, uh, instrument did you play?
Drums.
[CHUCKLING]
No, seriously, what instrument?
Really, I was the drummer.
What, did you need, like, extra-long sticks or something?
Hey, all right, quit breaking his balls.
MUGSY: No, I'm not breaking his balls.
I would think that you'd need extra-long sticks
'cause of the T-rexthing.
I just used regular 18-inch standard sticks.
What kind of music did you play?
ROGER: Oh, real rock 'n' roll. Ha.
Back in '96, we toured on a triple bill
with Dokken and Skid Row.
Whoa.Ha, we charted once.
You guys had a hit?Mm-hm.
What was it called?
"Boilerbreaker."
Wasn't that Sauce Puppy?
Yeah.
You were in Sauce Puppy?
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
Wow.
You guys sucked.
MUGSY: No, no, no.
I liked that song. Uh, ah.
♪ Boilerbreaker
SAM: Oh, God.
♪ Boilerbreaker
♪ Take it all in
What's a boilerbreaker?
It's a modified boilermaker.
Our lead singer invented it.
You drop a double-shot of whiskey
into a pint of beer.
So good.
So-so tell us about the groupies there, Roger.
You ever get one of them double blowjobs?
You know, like, two dicks, one mouth?
[LAUGHING] Oh, my God, check this out.
Okay, can we--? Can we let Roger finish his share, please?
So a couple of weeks ago, our bass player called me,
and apparently Sweeny's Ale
wants to use the band in one of their commercials.
That's fucking awesome.
ROGER: Well, back in the day, it would've been awesome,
but where I am now in life, ah,
I don't want to promote booze.
It's just beer.
But it's not just beer though.
Sweeny's bought out Brother Jay's Whiskey.
And now they're making a drink
that's beer and whiskey combined.
Hey, Roger, why not let them use the song?
Who gives a fuck?
SAM: Oh, guys, guys.
This is-- It's exactly the point
I was trying to make earlier, okay?
You all have to make decisions
that are gonna make you feel good about yourself.
So you think I'm doing the right thing
turning down the 100 grand?
Absolutely--
How much?
Hundred grand per guy.
For fucking "Boilerbreaker"?
Oh, come on, man, be straight with me.
What should I do?
Look, whatever you think, okay?
If you think you should pass, you should pass.
Maybe you can come with me,
help me explain it to the guys in the band.
Fuck, no.
Why should I be the one to tell them?
You're the one screwing them over.
But you said it was the right thing to do.
Yeah, it probably is, but, you know,
but the thing about doing the right thing
is that it usually pisses somebody off.
Come on, Loudermilk, please.
I really could use some help.
[SAM SIGHS]
All right, let's, uh, let's wrap this up, okay?
Good meeting, everybody.
[♪♪♪]
You wanted to see me?
Yeah. Look, I like your daughter,
but you gotta get her off my couch.
Why? Is everything okay?
Did she relapse?
No, she's fine. She's doing fine.
Well, if she's doing fine,
then we should stick with what's working.
No need to rock the boat, right?
No, no, we need to rock the boat
until she falls off the boat,
and swims to a couch on her own boat.
Okay? I was happy to help her out,
but I got a life to get back to.
Not that I've seen.
What if I give you a thank-you gift
to show my appreciation?
Could she stay a little longer?
You're gonna bribe him?Hey, tut, tut, tut.
Stay out of this.
What do you have in mind?
Well...
I could give you my husband's car.
It's just collecting dust in the garage anyway.
He can't accept gifts over $25.
SAM: Says who?
You're just making shit up now.
You're a drug-and-alcohol counselor.
Taking expensive gifts from your group members
or their families is unethical.
It's the same for me as a man of the cloth.
Bullshit.
Like you paid for this place?
And what about the Pope?
He's got a custom-designed super-Hummer.
You don't even have a license,
what would you do with a car?
He can sell it for all I care.
I can sell it for all she cares.
Yeah, I'll take the car.
And Claire can continue to stay with you?
[SIGHS]
Forgot there's a catch.
Yeah, for now.
I'll have someone bring the vehicle by tomorrow.
SAM: Awesome.
[SIGHS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
[DOOR OPENS]
SAM: Hey.BEN: Hey.
[DOOR CLOSES]
SAM: Whatcha watching?
It's, uh, White Zombie.
Yeah, it's like Walking Dead,
but really boring.
It's terrible. Sit down.
Tempting, but, uh, I think I'm gonna go try
and get some z's before "snore-a-saurus"
starts rattling the I-beams.
Look, I know I snore,
but it's, like, a sweet little ladylike snore.
It's like a silverback fucking a badger
without its consent.
Okay, well, I slept next to Wyatt for months,
and he didn't say a word.
He was on heroin.
He'd have slept through a kidney stone.
Okay, well, Ben hasn't said a word.
Well, I've always been a super-sleeper
since I was a kid.
You're not a kid,
so don't say "super-sleeper" again.
I think you have a medical condition.
Oh, God.Okay?
I think you need one of those machines
that helps you breathe like Darth Vader has.
A CPAP. My dad had one.
Really? I'm that bad?
Yeah. You stop breathing for minutes.
It's, like, David Blaine-level shit.
I don't know how you don't have brain damage.
Maybe I do.
Hey, I saw my mom's car in the parking lot.
What, was she checking up on me?
Well, you know, I think in her mind,
you're on your own now.
Well, what did she say?
Well, she's glad to hear you're doing well,
and she gave me your father's car.
What? Wait. Are you serious?
She gave you my dad's Escalade, the car he died in?
What did you say?
Yeah, my dad died in that car.
No, no, no, the part-- Did you say "Escalade"?
That's like a $90,000 truck.
Yeah, it's like 110 with all the features he added.
No. No, no, your mom's not gonna give me a brand-new Escalade.
What other cars did your dad have?
Uh, that's it.
I mean, she sold the Lincoln a while back.
This is the only car.
BEN: It's actually perfect for you.
The new Escalades practically drive themselves.
Like K.I.T.T. from Knight Rider.
You won't even need a license.
Uh, yeah, you will need a license.
I won't need a license. I'm not gonna drive it.
Probably just sell it.
What?
You're gonna profit off the car my dad died in?
He died in it?
I just told you that a minute ago.
No, you didn't.
What? Ah-- Uh-- Ben?
Uh-- Ah...
Pretty sure I would've remembered you saying that.
Gonna let me drive it before you sell it?
Yeah, if I get to ride shotgun.
Holy shit.
Um, I'm gonna try and get down before the, you know--?
The lumber mill starts with the--
[CLAIRE SIGHS]
SAM: --lumber milling.
[MUSIC ON TV CONTINUES]
[SNORING]
[UNEVEN BREATHING]
[CLAIRE SNORING]
[SIGHS]
[CLAIRE SNORING]
[SNORING]
[♪♪♪]
You're out of toilet paper again.
Again?
It's like you're single-handedly
clear-cutting the rainforest with your asshole.
Oh, fuck off.
♪ Something I can leave you... ♪
Hey, how was my snoring last night?
Awful. Terrible. Worse.
Well, I guess you'll just have to start sleeping
in your fancy new car.
Yeah, or you have to get one of those CPAP things.
Um, I would, but you need a prescription.
And when I was in boarding school,
no one would room with me, so I looked into it.
Oh, so you know you have a problem.
Yeah, I do.
But, I don't know, when I started doing coke,
I thought it went away.
Nope, didn't go away.
Okay. Well, look, I'd go to the doctor,
but I don't have insurance, so...
Sorry.
[SIGHS]
Hey, sorry to bother you,
but, uh, I'm just fresh out of sugar.
Well, what do you need?
Like, a gram, an 8 ball, or...?
[LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY]
Uh, is your Dr. McDreamy here?
No, he doesn't like to stay over
when he's on-call.
He hates waking me up.
Okay. Chivalrous.
He seems like an interesting guy,
I'd like to meet him.
You met him the other night.
Well, for two seconds.
Like to get to know him though, you know?
Uh, we should all grab a meal sometime.
I'm meeting him at lunch today at Marty's.
You wanna join us?
Yeah, that'll work.
Okay, well, here you go.
Yeah.
You better not be stepping on this shit, huh?
This thing drives like a dream.
It's pretty fucking sweet, right?
Man, smell the leather.
I think this is what Dubai smells like.
It's an impressive gift.
Yeah.
You should check out the bowling alley
they got in the back.[LAUGHS]
Seriously, the Blue Book value on this thing is insane.
This is the place.
We're meeting them at a car wash?
Yeah, they work there.
[♪♪♪]
ROGER: What's up?
Billy.
Ho-ho-holy shit.
Roger Dodger.
[LAUGHS]
Is this your car?
No. No, it's his.
Hi, it's my car.
Hey.SAM: Hey.
Hey, um, thanks for coming down
to talk this out face-to-face.
I know things got a little heated
on the text thread.
No problem.
Where's Maggie?
Uh, he's right over there. Yo, Mags.
SAM: Hey.Who's this fuck?
You lawyer up on us?
ROGER: No.
This is Loudermilk, he's a friend.
SAM: Pleasure.
Hey.
All right then, should we, uh, talk business?
Yeah, not here. We're supposed to be working.
Go inside.SAM: Oh, okay.
LOUIE: Make sure it's in neutral.
ROGER: Yeah, okay.
MAGGIE: Okay, bring out the contract,
show him where to sign.
ROGER: I already told you guys,
I'm not gonna sign that.
I came here today as a courtesy
to you both to explain why.
You know what?
Oh, Christ.
Mags, what are you doing?
Getting him to sign the papers, one way or another.
Dude, relax, all right?
Nobody need--
What the fuck kind of gun is that?
You got a problem with it?
Hey, look,
I'm not here for a musket ball
to the head, all right?
I'm just supporting my friend, Roger.
This is just like Wichita all over again.
You didn't shoot then, and you're not gonna shoot now.
Don't tempt me, Roger.
My life is shit right now,
and I have nothing to lose, okay?
I'm sorry about that, but I'm still not gonna sign.
SAM: Are we sure this won't scratch the finish?
LOUIE: Help me understand where your head's at here, Roger.
I mean, what is wrong with us
making a little bit of money off our art?
They want our song to promote binge-drinking
and having sex with passed-out women.
MAGGIE & LOUIE: Blacked-out women.
MAGGIE: There's a big difference.
What? What is the difference?
How will we know if they're blacked-out, Roger?
They're walking and talking like everyone else.
LOUIE: Yeah.
Put the fucking gun down, Maggie.
Just...
Don't-- For fuck's sake.
Come on, Roger. Please?
MAGGIE: This commercial could get me back on my feet,
maybe open a little pizza joint.
The residuals alone would get me
off my cousin's couch.
You get residuals?
Fuck, yeah.
It'll double what we get paid.
We could make 200 grand each.
That's a lot of money, Roger.
I know.
But it doesn't matter.
Dude, you're the real deal, you know?
I mean, you may die broke,
but you're rich with integrity.
Shut the fuck up, you fucking hypocrite.
Driving up in here in your fancy fucking Esplanade.
Telling Roger to turn down money that he needs.
Roger-- Ow! Fuck.
Don't listen to this dick.
Listen to your friends.
You could have your own Esplanade.
First off, it's a fucking Escalade, all right?
And I didn't do anything for this.
It was a gift.
ROGER: Hey, you're the one
who's always going on, saying no gift
comes without strings attached
except the gift you give yourself.
I didn't say that.
You saw that on a cat calendar.
Nobody's perfect, Rog.
Come on, just--
[SIGHS]
--bend. A little.
[SIGHS]
Fuck it.
[♪♪♪]
And so when I got the residency,
I asked Allie to move to Seattle,
and lucky for me, she said yes.
ALLISON: And lucky for me,
I was able to find a sublet
in your apartment building on short notice.
Yeah, I wouldn't call anyone lucky in that building.
It's like a big pile of asbestos
held together with lead paint.
So, what about work, what'd they say?
Well, they weren't very happy, but luckily,
Sotheby's has offices everywhere, so--
So it all worked out.
Yeah.
Aw.[BOTH LAUGH]
So how come you two don't actually live together?
Yeah, you know, my hours are so unpredictable--
Well, and-and----so....
And we practically do live together.
It's just like he said, with the crazy timing,
and me and my new job--
SAM: Right.
ALLISON: --i-it just--Right, right, right.
So hey, Dr. Carl.
Uh... I'm sure you hate it when people
ask you for free medical advice,
but this isn't about me.
It's about the dirty little drug fiend
who's sleeping on my couch.
Okay, um...
What's the problem?
She's got this, uh deviated septum, sleep apnea
possible demon-living-in-the-throat
situation, and the snoring is just-- I-it's nuts.
I-I think she could really use one of those CPAP machines,
'cause those work, right?
Well, yeah.
Yeah, but she should see a doctor.
Find out what's causing the problem.
Well, I got a doctor sitting right across from me.
Yeah, a sleep specialist.
Yeah, that's not a real thing.
Here, listen.
This is her. I made this recording
last night, okay? Listen.
[SNORING]
[UNEVEN BREATHING]
Wow.
Yeah? Listen to this.
[SNORING STOPS]
She quits breathing
for two minutes and 36 seconds.
All right? Another time was closer to four minutes,
but I-I-I just didn't have the phone handy to document it.
Well, I can see why that would worry you.
Oh, I'm not worried, I just--
I just wanna get some sleep at night.
I need to use the ladies' room.
Yeah, sure.
Look, I can't just grab you a CPAP machine.
That's not how it works.
There are rules and regulations.
Come on, you gotta have a crappy old used one
laying around somewhere, right?
[MAN CHOKING]
Missing some knobs,
and it's a little moldy, yeah?
I think that guy's choking.
[CHOKING CONTINUES]
Uh, Dr. Carl?
Hey.
Fuck's sake. Eh.
WOMAN: Oh, is he choking?
SAM: All right.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[GRUNTS LOUDLY]
[GASPS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[SCATTERED CLAPPING]
Dude, you-you gotta remember to chew.
What happened?
This guy just saved my life.
He was choking.
Oh, honey.
[GIGGLES]
WAITRESS: Not him.
Him.
What? Loudermilk?
[PANTING]
Hey, how is that? I almost ordered that.
It's fine, yeah. Fine, yeah.No? All right.
[♪♪♪]
Look, the guy had it under control.
Okay? He didn't need my help.
Nobody's saying otherwise.
Well, you're both sitting there
judging me for not doing anything.
I can feel it.
The thing is, I was doing something,
I was assessing the situation,
waiting to see if I was needed.
Really?
The guy was working it out on his own.
Yeah, maybe.Nope.
Definitely.
No, maybe.
But wait, probably not.
Will you stop it? The guy was fine.
How come his face was turning blue?
It wasn't turning blue.
It was flush from coughing.
He didn't cough.
He couldn't cough. He grunted.
Cough:
[COUGHS]
Grunt:
[GRUNTS]
It's a big difference.Right.
Look, the guy's fine, that's all that matters.
Yeah, why don't you stop
trying to be a hero, Loudermilk?
Hey, I'm not a hero.
I just did what anyone would do in that situation.
Right, except me.
The only one in the room
who studied medicine for seven years
and knows exactly how to react in that situation.
Carl, come on, just admit it.
You fucking choked. Okay?
He choked, and then you choked.
It's all right, nobody's perfect.
I work in an ER, I don't choke.
I have ice water in my veins.
Well, I'm sure you do in the safe confines
of the operating room
with a bunch of doctors and nurses around
when something goes wrong.
Look--
[SIGHS] Okay, there's other factors to consider here,
Loudermilk. Okay?
Doctors have to be very cautious when administering aid.
We can get sued.
Oh, okay.Happens all the time.
Let's just drop it.
I didn't bring it up. He did.
[SIGHS]
Hi, excuse me. Hi, can I get the check?
No need for that. Your meal's been comped by management.
It's the least we could do.
Oh.
That's great.
That's very generous.
You get the tip.
[♪♪♪]
It goes to five, but never CPAP up to five.
My dad did that once.
He blew up twice his size,
he was floating around the room.
It was awful. My mom woke up in the morning,
and she had to hit him with, like, a needle to pop him.
At breakfast, he farted for eight minutes--
Holy shit, is that what I think it is?
Yep.Yeah, it's a CPAP,
and Carl brought it over.
Pretty nice of the doctor, don't you think?
Ah, I think he did it because he felt guilty.
Uh, why? Because he's sleeping
with your imaginary girlfriend?
No, we were having lunch,
and some guy started choking
and Dr. Carl just sits there,
looking at him like he's a turd on a log.
Wait, so, what happened?
Yeah, did the fucking guy die?
No, no, he didn't die,
but only because I had to jump up and save him.
You know?
Like, I've got a doctor
sitting across from me.
I've never ever taken the damn class,
and here I am-- I-I get up,
and I'm giving him the Heimlich maneuver.
So I guess he got "Heimlock."
You just make that up?
Yeah, it's when you're gonna
give the Heimlich, but you freeze up,
it's a "Heimlock," no?
Well, they can't all be slam dunks.
I'm starting to think Dr. Carl's not even a real doctor.
Oh, why are you complaining?
You looked like a hero in front of your lady friend,
and we got a CPAP machine.Heh, heh.
True.BEN: That goes in your nose.
CLAIRE: I know.
Do I look sexy?
If I'm an elephant.
What, are you saying I'm fat?
No, he's talking about your ears. Hey.
[SNORING THROUGH CPAP MACHINE]
[♪♪♪]
[SNORING THROUGH CPAP MACHINE]
ROGER: I feel like a fucking moron in this getup.
No, you-you look like Andre Agassi.
You need anything?
Yeah, can you grab me a Coke?
I gotta drink something.
You got it.
Are you an idiot?
How could you not know about this?
They never had a video, how would I?
Jesus Christ.
How does he even play the drums?
Ah, with feet, maybe? I--
Oh, this is fucked up.
We have to replace this guy ASAP.
He's a poster child for fetal-alcohol syndrome.
What's our messaging here?
If you drink Sweeny's, you become deformed.
Is that our message?
Okay, okay. What do I do?
Just get rid of him.
All right.
SAM: Hey, Roger, come here.
Listen, listen,
how bad do you want this thing?
What do you mean?
This commercial.
[SIGHS]
I don't want it at all,
but I can't let them down.
Why? He fucking pulled a gun on you.
What? That's just Maggie.
Forget him. Just-- If you don't wanna do it, man, don't do it.
Period. End of story.
If it's not what you're all about--
I mean, I get it, it's a big paycheck.
I get that, okay?
I got an Escalade somebody handed me,
and I probably shouldn't keep that.
I definitely shouldn't keep that.
Because it makes me a sellout.
Understand? Do I wanna be a sellout
for an awesome tricked-out luxury SUV?
Hey, Rog,
I need a word with you, please.
Not now, we're gonna do a quick sound check,
ah, just the first verse.
Sound check, everybody, let's go.
Sound check.
[CREW TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
One, two, three, four.
[LOUD ROCK MUSIC]
♪ Boilerbreaker Boilerbreaker ♪
♪ Take it all in
[INDISTINCT SINGING]
[DRUM SOLO]
Are you fucking kidding me?
This guy's incredible.
This shit could go viral.
Yeah!
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Boom!
Yeah!
[LAUGHING] Ah, that was some wicked shit, my man.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah?
Let's take the car
for one last high-speed drive before you give it back.
Did I say I was giving it back?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Rog! Where you going?
Sorry, guys, I'm done.
What?SAM: He's out.
He's not doing your commercial.
Hey, we have a contract.
Fuck you.
[♪♪♪]
[GROUP MEMBERS MURMURING]
Hey, what's this still doing here?
I thought you said you were gonna give it back?
I did give it back.
Boys.
Are you fucking kidding me?
She gave this to you?
Yep.
What about all that shit about you don't take expensive gifts?
Well, you remember your Pope-Hummer argument?
Well, it carried a lot of weight with me.
[ENGINE STARTS]
I was told I could find a Sam Loudermilk here.
Yeah, that's me.
The meeting's in there, starts in 10 minutes.
I'm not here for a meeting.
You're being sued.
For what?For breaking my client's ribs
while recklessly administering the Heimlich
when it wasn't needed.
Motherfucker.
If you hadn't taken that, you couldn't get sued.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm just trying to help.
[♪♪♪]
♪ You're not alone
♪ We're in the same boat
♪ We're skipping town
♪ We'll keep on sailing To the sound ♪
♪ Of the wind Dancing on the waves ♪
♪ Oh, the sound of the wind
♪ Dancing on the waves