I'm Sam Loudermilk, and I am super-duper excited
about getting you on the road to sobriety.
Right now, she's having trouble with her daughter.
I have a feeling that your brand of help
may be exactly what she needs.
That's my number. You want help, call it.
If not, exactly zero shits will be given by me.
I'm Allison. I just moved into 2C.
Sam--2B
or not to be.
Well, I guess it's not to be.
As your sponsor and your only friend,
you really make it hard for people to like you.
Dude, get away from my girlfriend.
Why don't you assholes get out of my way,
or are we gonna do this the hard way?
BEN: What the hell were you doing in a bar?
You're a drunk. I'm a drunk. Guys like us can't do that.
Is Sam around or... ?
Okay, thanks for coming by. I'll let him know.
[♪♪♪]
[HONKS HORN]
SAM: Excuse me.
How far is it to Mount Baker?
Mount Baker?
Uh, as the crow flies, about 12 miles.
Really?
What if I'm an East Asian chinchilla monkey
running as fast as I can? How far is it then?
Or how far is it as the beaver swims?
Let's say I'm a beaver swimming upstream with my family
and one of my beaver kids snaps a flipper,
how far is it gonna be then?
Or I'm a three-legged cat, all right,
he's a blind squirrel, we're handcuffed together,
and we just got to make our way across.
Is that more than 12 miles now or a little bit less?
'Cause I got a Cocker Spaniel
who walks backwards spitting nickels.
Okay, he likes to tack back and forth against the wind.
What's his ETA, roughly?
Or maybe I just saddle up a zoogeographer like yourself
and ride your ass all the way to Mount Baker.
How far is it then? Huh?
[♪♪♪]
Come on.
Just need to get my fix.
Come on.
What the fuck are you doing with the coffee machine?
Your coffeemaker sucks, man.My coffeemaker sucks?
Yeah. I can make meth faster than that, and I think I have.
You know what? You're always doing it wrong.
You got to do it right. You keep doing it wrong.
I'm doing it wrong?Yeah, you're doing it wrong.
I'm not doing it wrong.It makes a delicious brew.
Why don't you do it then?[KNOCK ON DOOR]
You get the door. I'll show you how to do the coffee right.
Keeps doing it wrong, this guy.Well, just do it.
It's not plugged in.
Hey.
Hey. Guess what I've been doing.
No. I don't play that shit.
Just tell me what you've been doing.
I read your book.
Oh. Where did you get that?
Ben lent it to me. It's actually pretty good.
Oh. Thanks.
I'm making some crappy coffee. Would you like a cup?
Yeah.
I do have one serious question, though.
Shoot.
They did tell you they were taking your picture that day...
right?
There it is. You look like a stupid idiot, look at you.
♪ Loudermilk is Chris Cornell
♪ Hanging out in the '90s
You know what? I remember seeing you in the '90s, okay?
You had the high fade and the Hammer pants.
BEN: Yep, every day for a year. I was too legit to quit.
No. You were too big to fail.
Oh, is that a fat joke, or is that based on the bank crash?
That doesn't even make sense. This guy calls himself a writer.
So how did you dress back then?
Actually, I think I dressed the way I dress now.
Wow. Rebel.
So you're a writer?
I was. Not anymore.
Yeah, Loudermilk used to work for Spin, Rolling Stone.
Long time ago. Billy Big Time, this guy.
Big, big, big deal back in the day, this guy right here.
Yeah. Yeah, the books-- you can still find them,
but I have another gig.
I, uh, I work in-- um, in-in banking.
Oh, yeah? So what do you do?
Uh, I go in, I clean up their messes.
[♪♪♪]
Yeah. It-It allows me to live like a king
with a roommate in an apartment
with a shitty coffeemaker.
BEN: You're doing it wrong.
Why don't you write anymore? I mean, this is really good.
It's kind of complicated. See, the-the--
My thing was that I would go on tour with the bands
and then write about all their depravities,
but that's-- It's just too hard to do when you're sober.
Are you kidding me? A sober guy on the road
with a bunch of fucked-up rock stars
would be a great book. A totally different perspective.
Yeah, until I fall off the wagon on page four.
[SIGHS]
Well, why don't you go on the road
with a sober band?
Well, then I'd fall off the wagon on page two.
That's the last thing that I need to see
is a bunch of rock stars drinking milk
and starting shows on time.
Having sex with their wives. Disgusting.
Well, if I got a copy of your book,
would you at least sign it for me?
Yeah, I'll think about it.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
It's lively here today.
Wow, it's an actual bag lady.
What, uh, brings you here to darken my doorstep?
Um...
you got a minute?
I'm actually kind of in the middle
of something right now.
Can you come back in a half an hour maybe?
N-N-No. I-I should... I should get going.
No. Finish that.
I'll see you later.
SAM: All right. Good to-- All right.
Come on. Come on, come on.
Got anything resembling coffee?
That's exactly what I'd have.
It's 'cause you're doing it wrong.
I'll be in my room.Thanks.
I got dumped, and then I lost my job again.
And I've been getting blackout drunk every night.
When I woke up for the fifth day in a row
with my head in the toilet, I, um...
I immediately thought of you.
Well, you suck at compliments.
Um, how'd you find me?
Father Mike gave me your address.
Oh. Well, I owe him one.
My mom's a bitch, and she won't let me come over
and stay there until I've cleaned up, so--
Well, yeah. I mean, you smell like a spicy sausage fart.
No. I mean, like, "cleaned up" cleaned up.
Like, um, you know, everything.
Mm-hmm.
So, why are you here?
Because I'm serious about getting better.
Okay. Good.
But I need help.
I can offer you help.
And a place to stay--Heh. That ain't happening.
No, b-but please. I mean, I--
I'll be-I'll be really quiet. You won't even know I'm here.
No. I don't understand.
Why can't you just find a park bench
or an abandoned railway car?
I'll get you some toilet paper.
You know what? Fuck you, okay?
I shouldn't have even come here.
I can't believe I came here. I'm such an idiot.
Come on. Come-- All right. All right. Se-- Relax. Sit down.
When was the last time you slept?
I-I don't know.
Hey. Sorry. I got tired of eavesdropping. Hello.
Yeah. Claire's looking for a place to stay.
Huh. Okay, well, we should discuss this, uh...
roommate-style.
Why are you moving your head? She's looking right at you.
You want me to come over there?Yes.
Then just say, "Come over here."
Come over here. Please come over here.
Excuse us.
You should let her crash here.
What?
Seriously.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
No. Think about it. Show that you can be a good guy,
you'll win some points with Allison.
You think?Yeah. Big points.
All right, all right, fine,
but it's just for a couple of days. Okay?
We're gonna set some ground rules.
Agreed.All right.
Let me handle it. I'll talk to her.
I already heard everything.
Where should I put my stuff?
Yeah. No, no, no. This is not a free ride. Okay?
You stay clean for 72 hours, the sofa's yours,
but you got to stay sober or you got to go-ber.
I just came up with that. I swear to God.
How about, like, um, 12 hours?
Uh. No. Twelve hours gets you
one tall kitchen trash bag for your stuff.
Okay. Twenty-four hours.
Ben, can you, uh, drive Claire to the shelter, please?
Let me find the keys to my automobile.
Thirty-six hours.Sold to the teenage
drug-addicted loser.
Deal.
[MUTTERS] Yeah.
All right, thirty-six hours. It's 4:05.
We are starting right...
Okay, wait. Wait.
Start now.
Yeah, this is gonna go great.
[♪♪♪]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hey.
What do I do?
You listen. You share. Or none of the above.
Important thing is that you're here. Okay?
I'm gonna go talk to the father.
I'll be back, but you're gonna be fine.
It gets a little intense in here sometimes,
but I think you'll find there's a lot
of love and respect in this room.
Hey, Loudermilk. You hitting that?
No. You kidding me?
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, h-- I wouldn't sit there if I was you.
Suck my ass, Booker T.
[PEOPLE SNICKERING]
Sit somewhere else.
MAN: Oh, boy.MAN 2: Shouldn't have said that.
[ALL LAUGH]
All righty.
MAN: Uh-oh. Ooh, oh.
MAN 2: There you go.
You know, they-they did tell you to move. Twice.
Hey, why'd you give that slob my address?
Oh, she asked.
If she asked for half that sandwich,
would you give it to her?
Of course.
"If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
"and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
"then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday."
It's Jethro Tull, but I don't know the cut.
That's Isaiah 58:10.
Oh.
I skipped lunch. Can I have half the sandwich?
Fuck off.
Whoa.
You do realize I had nothing to do with
that Spotlightmovie, right?
Heh heh. I'm just trying to speak in terms
that you will understand, so listen...
Claire was in pretty rough shape when we talked.
So, what are her chances?
Uh, same as anybody else at this phase.
Probably 70-30 she relapses. Maybe 80-20.
But Iggy Pop lived through the '70s,
so I don't know. Anything could happen.
Where's she staying tonight?
Uh, she's on my couch.
Oh yeah?Yeah.
What happens when you go to work?
She'll be fine. Ben's got an eye on her.
[RUSTLING AT DOOR]
Uh...BEN: Hello? Occupado.
Sorry.
BEN: Thought you were at a meeting.
Uh, yeah, yeah, I was, but I-I got to use the bathroom.
Just a second.
'Kay.
CLAIRE: No fucking way.
CLAIRE: There's a picture of Loudermilk's ex-wife
in this book. She was pretty.
Sorry about that.
Yeah, no worries, man. It's your place.
Mm?No, I'm good. Thanks.
[♪♪♪]
Anyone home?
BEN: Yeah. I'm in my room.
Couch.
What's this doing out?
Oh, I was reading it on the toilet.
Oh, get over yourself, Loudermilk.
Women shit. A lot.
Is that code for, "I got to call a plumber?"
You know what?
I'm gonna go out and get some fresh air.
Said everybody who lives in the building.
Don't get fucked up.
[TOILET WATER RUNNING]
[♪♪♪]
She actually broke the damn thing.
Motherfucker.
Look what I found behind the toilet.
I don't know what to say.
No?
I'm sorry, Sam.
Sorry doesn't cut it, man. You were supposed to watch her.
[SIGHS]I know.
That's why I'm saying I'm sorry.
Fuck. I mean, you don't have to bite my head off.
It's a good thing I found it
before she had a chance to drink it.
Gee. It's unbelievable, right?
I mean, it's a great way to keep it chilled
while you're hiding it, but, you know, I--
Obviously, she's got to go.
I mean, it's like baseball--
one strike and you're out.
You mean three?
I don't really follow sports, but you're right.
She does deserve another... at bat? Right, you know?
No. It's the principle of the thing. We had a deal.
She broke it. She lied to us.
Yeah. Well, then, you know, there you go. That's--
She's got expensive taste, though. It's a nice bottle.
Of course she does. Family's loaded.
She's been spoiled her whole life,
which is why I think we got to teach her a lesson.
Okay. I got an idea.
How about we don't say anything to her?
Why?
Fuck with her head.
Don't say that we found the bottle to her,
and then just see what she does. I bet it drives her crazy.
That's some Chris Nolan-level head games you're playing, man.
All right, all right. You know what else we do?
How do you feel about taking a drive to the country?
Ahh. Heh. Okay. I'll go get my keys.
No. Tomorrow, not now.
Oh, good. I'm exhausted.
Uh, 'scuse me. Do you have change for a five?
Uh, yeah, I think so.
So are you and Loudermilk fucking?
Let's see, I've got, uh, four ones.
Three, four. I got--
'Cause you're pretty.
Like herpes medicine commercial pretty.
Thanks.
I bet he'd totally do you.
Got some quarters.
Seems like he'd kinda be into some weird shit, though.
Like, probably want to cram it into your--
You know what? Just take the money.
You can pay me back later.
Okay. Cool. Hey, I didn't mean any, like, bad shit.
I just meant, like, butt stuff.
ALLISON: Yeah, I got it.
[♪♪♪]
Where are we going?
We're gonna try something different today.
You ever hear of a vision quest?
No.
Native-American ritual.
Like a lot of Native-American things the white man stole,
we-we-we bastardized it.
We forgot the original intent, but it still works pretty good.
I don't-I don't know.
Ben introduced me to it back when I was trying to get sober.
Look at me. Right?
So this is gonna turn me into an asshole?
Hey.
[CAR ENGINE PUTTERS]
[REVS CAR ENGINE]
Let's take a nice drive in the country
so you can forget about booze and drugs for a while.
BOTH: ♪ Sixty-eight bottles of beer On the wall ♪
♪ Sixty-eight bottles of beer
♪ Take one down, Pass it around ♪
♪ Sixty-seven bottles of beer On the wall ♪
How much farther? Like--
The word you're looking for is "further."
Further.Who gives a fuck?
We're almost there.
Listen, guys, do you really think
that getting out into nature and shit's gonna help me?
Absolutely. Okay? It's like the movie Revenant.
All right? Leo-- he gets out into nature,
and he goes through a lot, but by the end of it...
That's a bad example.Well, yeah.
Okay, okay. Rocky,right? The third one.
You're Rocky,
and-and Mr. T is a drug that you have to fight.
Yeah, like, tetracycline.What?
No. That's-That's a good drug.
Is that a good-- Oh, okay. Uh, Tylenol.
When people get strung out on Tylenol.
It's also a good--
What-What's that-- What's that stuff? Tiramisu.
Is that a drug?That's a cake.
That's a dessert. I don't know what I'm talking about.
Tamiflu?Tamiflu.
Guys, why-why the fuck do I have to go do this?
Why do I have to go do this?
That's what you're gonna learn on the vision quest.
Ugh.
♪ When I wake up In the morning, love♪
♪ And the sunlight hurts My eyes♪
♪ And something Without warning, love♪
♪ Bears heavy on my mind♪
♪ Then I look at you♪
♪ And the world's All right...♪
SAM: All right. Come on.
CLAIRE: Dude. Dude, it's pouring rain.
No, no. It's all part of it. It's perfect.
What?Come on.
It's a very special place.
The Native Americans discovered an energy nexus here.
Focuses right into-- right into these woods.
How you feeling?
Nervous.
Yeah? You don't have anything to worry about.
Just take a minute.
All right? Just want you to center yourself.
Close your eyes.
It's real. Not like drugs. Not like alcohol.
It's real. Take a deep breath.
I want you to feel your mind
get clearer with every inhale
and every exhale.
Breathe in.
Breathe out. Good.
Smell the trees.
Smell the air.
Smell you later, sucker.
Huh?
Hey.
[REVS ENGINE]Punch it.
CLAIRE: Don't leave me out here, you son of a bitch!
Hey! Fuck you!
[♪♪♪]
It's so adorable when they run after the car like that.
You hungry?
Nah, but I could eat.
All right.
SAM: You remember when you dropped me off like that?
Totally. You almost grabbed on to my bumper.
You were faster than you look.
That was the last time I ever did that.
Last time you drank?
No. Running.
Hmm. What's going on with you and Allison?
What do you mean?
No, there's nothing...
Well, I don't know. I thought the book was a nice gesture.
Yeah. You're the one who gave it to her.
Yes, and I thought it was a nice gesture.
You think giving an attractive woman
a picture of a bloated me with '90s hair
is doing me any favors?
I do, actually.
I think it shows your vulnerability
and, uh, that you're okay with being silly.
But that's not me at all. That's you.
I think you should make a run at her, man. She's into you.
She's not. Why are you trying to push me on her?
Want me to move out?
Look, I'm just saying
that enough time has passed between you and...
I just think a relationship would be good for you right now
with someone besides me, that is.
Look, sometimes you need someone else
to help you to do things on your own.
No, you don't.
Okay.
What do you think Claire's doing right now?
Who gives a fuck?
[LAUGHS]
[OWL HOOTING]
Oh. Hey! Hey! Hey! Oh, my God.
Thank God. Thanks for stopping.
What are you doing out here?
I'm lost. Can I get a ride?
Yeah. Get in the back.
Uh, can I sit in front with you?
In the back.
[HORNS HONKING DISTANTLY]
[OINKING AND SQUEALING]
[ICE CLATTERS]
[♪♪♪]
How was your vision quest?
[SCREAMS]
All right, all right, okay--
What the fuck, you asshole?
Deep breath.You piece of shit!
Okay, hey, hey, hey, come on.I could've--
I could've fucking died out there!
Don't be a drama queen, huh? It's not even bear season.
[SCREAMS]
What the fuck is going on here?
You're guilty, too.
Me? It was his idea.
Listen, if that is your fucking idea
of helping someone,
then you're a-- you're fucking psychotic, okay?
I'd be better off on the street, you pieces of shit!
I'm leaving! Fuck you both! Fuck you.
You're leaving now? What time is it?
I don't-- Who gives a shit?
It's 4:55 a.m.
CLAIRE: So?
So when did you have your last drink?
I don't fucking know, and I fucking--
How long has it been?
Thirty--
Thirty-six hours?
Ah.
Oh. You made it.
Yeah, but-but you took me into the fucking woods,
and you left me there, so it doesn't really--
That doesn't matter.
It's like I say-- sometimes you need someone else
to help you do things on your own.
I haven't--
I haven't-I haven't been that sober in, like,
a-a year.
And I...
Well, you were fucked up.
Yeah, but in 12 more hours, you'll have two days.
Pretty soon, two days turns into a week
and please clean up this fucking glass. Good night.
Really proud of you, Claire. Mostly for breaking
that coffee pot. I've been trying to get rid
of that fucking thing since the Sochi Olympics.
BEN: You were doing it wrong!
[♪♪♪]
Okay.
Hey. You think we should we tell her
that the couch folds into a bed?
No. We'd have to move the coffee table.
Where you going?
I'm gonna give Allison a copy of my book.
I signed it for her.
Well, you should write a little something extra.
You know, make it special.
My autograph is special enough.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hi.
Uh, is Allison here?
Sorry. No solicitors.
Oh, no, no, no. I'm Loudermilk from next door.
Oh. Allie, it's-it's Louder-- uh...
Milk.
Some guy who says he's your neighbor.
ALLISON: Yeah. I'll be there in a sec. Frittata's burning.
Yeah, she said she liked one of my books,
so I just, you know, brought her a copy.
Oh, cool. Yeah.
Uh, who are you again?
I'm Carl, Allison's boyfriend.
Oh. How come I haven't seen you around?
I'm an emergency-room doctor over at Presbyterian,
so long hours.
Right, right, right. Okay.
Let me see that for a second.
[♪♪♪]
Uh, okay, enjoy your frittata.
♪ When you get older Plainer, saner♪
♪ Will you remember All the danger we came from?♪
♪ Burning like embers Falling, tender♪
♪ Longing for the days Of no surrender♪
♪ Years ago♪
♪ And will you know?♪
♪ So smoke 'em If you got 'em♪
♪ 'Cause it's going down♪
♪ All I ever wanted was you♪
♪ I'll never get to heaven...♪